Statue Loan.

Having just compiled a serious response to a loan request pertaining to a statue we have, we then began suggesting spurious reasons.

The statue you have requested as a loan for your exhibition, is sadly unavailable for your use because:

1. He has a lot of meetings in his calendar and his PA has tried, but he can't reschedule.
2. He gets travel sick.
3. For legal reasons, he isn't allowed within a certain number of miles of Bradford.
4. He doesn't sleep well when away from home.
5. He already has two weeks planned in Tahiti. 
6. Northerners make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
7. Our museum is under an ancient curse, and his presence is the only thing keeping the vengeful spirits at bay.
8. His mum said no.

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