Attendant's View Blog and Cartoons

The real cost of visiting a historic house - Hint, It's not less than £1 per person.

23/11/2016

Winter nights have drawn in, and many museums and houses are using the dark hours to run dark events - ghost hunts, bat watches, lantern making... So when a photography club emailed an "Elizabethan House" about some night time photography, staff replied to them, willing to help plan an after hours visit.

I know about this because the photography club's response to this plan was apparently so unpleasant, that the house's staff compiled a joke letter, and then wanted to share it with you all.

The start of the "letter"

It is easy for us, within our institutions, with our detailed knowledge of how they function, to scoff at public misunderstanding about their inner workings. We have a duty to educate and inform the public not only about historic sites, but also the surprising ongoing costs just to maintain the status quo, let alone develop them.

Aaaaaalllthough... Staff frustration is very understandable when someone expects to bring 8 to 15 people on a special out of hours visit, paying less for the whole group than is usually paid for one person!
And they then threaten to break into your venue.

Read on to see the full image sent to me of the venue's mock letter.
And do watch out for that box hedge!

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Musuem experiences in the School Holidays

5/9/2016

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I’m not saying that these wouldn’t happen at other times of the year, just that they certainly happened during the school summer break at our museum.

Picking up what I thought was a piece of paper from the floor, but it was wet, chewed, ham.
A visitor placing their bag “out of harm’s way” on top of a display cabinet, intending to leave it there all day. Cue our explaining about bomb scares, and the very real fact that their bag could have caused a fire, sat as it was in direct contact with the lighting for the cabinet and hot to touch when we found it.
A visitor pointing out that the lights were off in a cabinet. Discovering it had been deliberately unplugged at the wall. We suspect someone wanted to cheekily charge their mobile phone.
Cleaning a glass cabinet covered at knee height in so many very opaque hand and face prints, and so much wiped nasal matter, we firmly believe it wasn't a normal child, but some form of biological weapon testing in toddler form. How could a single child be that sticky and not actually have adhered to the cabinet?!
A small child purposefully, slowly and methodically poking their entrance ticket through a gap until it was stuck inside a locked display cabinet. It was part of the display for the rest of the weekend.
If you are sat drinking coffee and your children are four rooms away from you, they are not being accompanied by an adult. If you now want to leave, upset that we don’t trust your 12 year old to be mature enough to accompany their 9 year old brother, that’s fine by us, but a shame for them.
Lots of adorable and badly written messages in the visitor comments book about it being “amaysing” and “the best moseum ever”

More museum holiday fun? Find out what I've overheard in the holidays here.

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"Why is this paper wet?"

22/8/2016

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I thought it was a piece of paper on the floor of the museum.
I honestly thought I was just picking up a receipt or a crunched up ticket.
That was why I blithely picked it up.
And then froze as I pondered "Why is this paper wet?"

AND IT WAS HAM.

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Historic office space

6/7/2016

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A previous venue I worked at had some offices in the older refurbished areas of the building, as well as the newly built extension. They were cramped, but very beautiful as a work space. One staff member had regular "visitors", as her office was the first door at the very top of the main stair case.

To get to the top of the stairs, people had to actively climb over or unclip two rope barriers, and squeeze around or move a Private sign on a freestanding post.

On one occasion, she had to ask a visitor if they would delete the photo they had just taken of her sitting at her desk.

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Family Friendly doesn't mean bubble wrapping everything

4/6/2016

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I just had to have the same conversation three times regarding "You shouldn't chase your sister near the big glass cabinets"

In the first instance the children stopped, and the parents backed me up with a sorry smile and "Come over here, don't do that."

In the second instance, the parents were in another room entirely, with a closed door between them and their children aged about 4 and 7. "Sorry, we didn't realise they had slipped in there."

In the third instance they were in the same room, and could see the children. I asked the parents "I really don't want to administer any first aid today. Please make sure they understand about all of the glass in here."

The parents were well dressed, well spoken, and apparently utterly indifferent to, or blissfully unaware of, the impact their children were having on other visitors, and also the potential hazard of allowing very young children to run around a museum.

This happened yesterday, and I bring it up because kids and accidents are a big topic at present.

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Please Do Not Sit on Steps

13/4/2016

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Sketch done at the British Museum, of two of the many offenders happy to be trampled come an evacuation.
I chose these two as they were sat slap bang by the signs, and couldn't have not seen them when sitting down.

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Surprisingly Determined

11/3/2016

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Past the barriers.
Past the signs.
Past the tools, hoover, wood and glass.
Through the dismantled door.
Past the barriers.
It was a valiant quest, yet ended in the bitter and perhaps gradually obvious disappointment of "No, we're not open right now. Can I get someone to safely escort you back to the cafe and shop?"

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Beating Blue Monday with some Bewildering 'Art'

18/1/2016

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You start off reading about a woman who posed nude in front of a nude painting, and end up pondering if you personally count "dancing around in front of the Eiffel Tower with a live rooster attached to his penis with a ribbon." as art.

Well, it brightened my day a bit.

Full Article Here

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Speak in a language they'll understand

16/5/2015

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"Independence Seaport Museum's boat shop, Workshop on the Water, is dedicated to the skills and traditions of wooden boat building and sailing in the Delaware Valley and the New Jersey shore"

And they know how to apply humour to get people to do what the signs tell them to!

Source: http://ismarchives.tumblr.com/post/98234508904/meanwhile-in-the-workshop-on-the-water-this-is

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Buggering about with animals

6/2/2015

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Although the staff were pissing ourselves laughing, we had to politely ask the lads posing in front of the taxidermy cabinets, and taking carefully angled photos, as if they were in exciting sexual congress with the animals, to stop.

I’ve tried a couple of times to draw a cartoon for this submitted story, but just can’t do the mental image justice.

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The real cost of visiting a historic house - Hint, It's not less than £1 per person.

Musuem experiences in the School Holidays

"Why is this paper wet?"

Historic office space

Family Friendly doesn't mean bubble wrapping everything

Please Do Not Sit on Steps

Surprisingly Determined

Beating Blue Monday with some Bewildering 'Art'

Speak in a language they'll understand

Buggering about with animals

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