Someone just walked past me in work, and down the full length of a very long room was 'trumpeting' the tune "Pardon me boys, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?". I almost went the full Bernard on them. Don't they know that ear worming is virtually a crime? Perhaps if it isn't, wilfully doing so should be.
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Customer on phone: Hello, I have a question about this really obscure subject X
Staff: I'm sorry, but we can't help with that directly. You may want to- Customer on phone: I have called from Germany. Customer on phone: We're running an event and were hoping you'd like to bring a display? Staff: Thanks for thinking of us, but it's not something we do, although I do know a team who attend trade fairs and- Customer on phone: It's in a local park to and we've got lots of support from... launches into a long explanation of their event and how worthy it is without any pauses. Staff: That sounds like a great cause, but we don't have a team or facilities to support it. However- Customer on phone: Explains the gazebo and table they could offer, the promotion taking place....and more explanation about how deserving the cause is. Staff: Here's the number you need for the trade team. You need a title for your next art exhibition. You want it to catch people's attention and then intrigue them, while being clear that you have higher concepts and that this is no mere local artists show - no! This is social commentary, you're unpicking the issues at the core of something or other and have work which challenges the boundaries of things!
For everyone who has ever looked at an exhibition title and thought "What?" or knows colleagues or art students who need a peg or two removing, go and play with: Rebecca Uchill's Random Exhibition Title Generator Examples include: Whither Illusion: Post-Painterly Art of Change After the Relevance: A Remix of Urban Experience For Love of Banality: Constructing a Praxis of the Avant Garde First series in this cartoon is here. This boy was adorable, and we had great fun playing with the rabbit hiding in the lettuce, and finding other 'hiding' animals in the paintings in the children's gallery. No line of sight from the children's gallery to the main hall though...You get two slightly different versions of this one, as I just can't work out which one I prefer, the older or newer version, but they do sort of flow together well as a single longer sequence. 
Having previously had foreign tourists complain that our venue should be in London because "Why wouldn't your visitor centre be where the visitors are?” There have now been three UK based customers debating our position in the UK, with various degrees of understanding.
A: It’s a shame you’re in the North. You should be roughly in the middle of England. B: It is roughly in the middle of England, it’s in the East Mid-lands A: That just means it’s in the middle of the UK. C: Speaking as someone who lives in Aberdeen, I can assure you, that is not the middle of the UK. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what A's mental map of the UK looks like.  Do accept my profound apologies that this is not museums or gallery related, however I offer you some end of the week amusement (for the few not working in factories, shops, mines and other continual employment with only 5 days off a year).
Look on the social media tubes of twitter or facebook, and search for #VictorianFacebook. Currently trending (how I feel dirty using that term) is the sweet idea of posting ‘Victorian’ style messages – even the media has noticed with a couple of news websites running articles picking some of the more amusing posts up. Plus, the police are having a giggle with it! I was rather taken with these: Paseka Lentsa The Sweep's urchin has become lodged in the main chimney once more, fornicate my existence!#VictorianFacebook Mark Gibson #VictorianFacebook Off one's face on Mead last night, had a knee-trembler with a painted lady & now feel compelled to use the water-closet Surrey Police @SurreyPolice Shocking disregard for the speed limit earlier - one vagabond driving at six miles per hour! #VictorianFacebook  The peril of glove puppets: your hand has to be inside them, and kids get upset if they hear screams every time they 'hug' the fluffy thing a bit too much. See what happened next here.
I'm mid way into selling/moving house (anyone fancy an 1888 house with period features in Nottingham?) so on top of Christmas insanity I haven't got any new comics sorted or scanned. I have a nice gem for you though in this old blog: http://ihatepicasso.wordpress.com
Get your brain past the fact English is her second language, and think through her bit of a plea about how Alexandria found her role to be a conflict of interests. The Attendants are groomed to their job by senior Attendants and the tradition they upkeep is passed from the earliest times of the Museum. This tradition conflicts with the Museums current ambitions, as it is attempting to provide a customer service-experience for all audiences. The traditional tasks of Attendants seem more concerned on keeping suspicious characters away from the Museum then showing effort to invite new people to the “Temple..” ... The baffling part of this performance is that everything is done passively. If you see a Attendant talking excitedly or gazing an artwork intensively you are seeing a bad worker. The only thing an Attendant is to do is stand in the exhibition rooms and look for sighs of trouble or situation S\he could “be of assistance” in. My experience of working in museums thus far has thankfully been sites where interaction is broadly encouraged, as engaging with customers is not only good for them but also for business (they enjoy it and stay longer, so spend more, and recommend to friends) Admittedly a previous workplace did eventually try to subtly steer attendants away from this, as the staffing was thin and security was paramount, but it is still allowed in a smaller degree. As sites decrease staffing and have to made hard choices, staff are increasingly concerned (such as here) and not only over security, but also rightly over the changes to the visitor experience. Keep on juggling and smiling... |
Webcomic and occasional blog about the heritage sector.
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December 2020
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