That silence you hear? 
That's the blissful silence of a room not full of 11 to 16 year old children. 
Because they just ran through half of the museum like a swarm of whooping vermin and are now two rooms away.

Dear teacher, if you have just entered the room and are greeted by blissful silence, that's probably an indicator that your students are in another room.

If your students are in another room, you are no longer accompanying them on their visit.
Now is not the time for you to take a slow and gentle stroll, engrossed in each cabinet's contents.

Please don't look at me like that when I ask you to be in the same room as them.
It's not my fault that you bought a group of howler monkeys into a public space, who glared at me with barely veiled disdain and amusement when I asked them to stop running and shouting, and pointed out all of the glass hazards and other visitors.

-----

Asking your oldest student to make sure the others don't go into the third room is a sort of solution.
Half your students are now accompanied, the other half are now only one room away. Which is an improvement.

Eight students are leaning on a set of doors, obeying "Don't go in that room yet" while also forming an attractive barricade.

There are another couple chasing each other in circles around a glass cabinet.

-----

There's no education session or tour arranged, but trying to get them on board with not just running and yelling is worth a try.

Attempts to engage them in looking at things and taking an interest in anything for more than ten seconds is greeted by sullen silence, or flickering mayfly attention spans accompanied by yelled exclamations, or flat out walking away to annoy each other.

The teacher, now in the room, is vaguely apologetic, and haphazard in any attempt to regain control.
Yes, they are obviously enjoying themselves. But not really in any way I'd describe as positive.
Shouting "That looks like your minger sister! Minger! Minger! Minger!" is, in a way, engaging with the exhibits.

-----

Hang on, those six kids in the cafe... Oh, so they are part of the school group, but were slow eating lunch and the teacher decided they could catch up once finished.
​
Shall we revisit - If your students are in another room, you are no longer accompanying them on their visit?

Just had a laugh with the cleaners as we gazed at two penises, drawn in snot, on either end of one of the museum display cabinets.

"They're impressively symmetrical."
​
February half term has commenced.

“But we’ll be travelling all the way from X to do this? Can’t you squeeze us in for it? How much difference would three people really make?”

Ah, we have reached the “I failed to plan ahead for the summer school holidays, and now my children are about to be disappointed by not getting to do something they want to do, so I’m going to somehow blame you” stage of the summer break. 

​Here’s my caring face:

This teacher was amazing.
He had read the educational visits advice. 
He had already set the kids up to follow it.
He had equipped all of the kids with a clipboard, pencil and paper, so he could set them quick little tasks to keep them occupied if they started to get bored in the museum. 
"I think I love you" was actually said to him, with ensuing explanation about how he'd exceeded usual expectations. 

I REALLY hope this is a legitimate TFL sign.

Fist spotted and posted by https://www.facebook.com/mymuseumlife/

The Natural History Museum in London had a large family pleasing exhibition on mammoths a while ago.

In the summer school holidays visitors had a long queue to enter the building, and then another queue to enter the paid exhibition. 

It was a bit of a surprise to find a stunningly unhappy bored looking child, whose parent had endured the entire thing and forced them to do so to, on the assumption that it was some kind of "sit down and watch the entertainment" type activity.

​When told it was an exhibition, very exciting ancient things to see, they just left.

I’m not saying that these wouldn’t happen at other times of the year, just that they certainly happened during the school summer break at our museum.
​

• Picking up what I thought was a piece of paper from the floor, but it was wet, chewed, ham. 
• A visitor placing their bag “out of harm’s way” on top of a display cabinet, intending to leave it there all day. Cue our explaining about bomb scares, and the very real fact that their bag could have caused a fire, sat as it was in direct contact with the lighting for the cabinet and hot to touch when we found it.
• A visitor pointing out that the lights were off in a cabinet. Discovering it had been deliberately unplugged at the wall. We suspect someone wanted to cheekily charge their mobile phone.
• Cleaning a glass cabinet covered at knee height in so many very opaque hand and face prints, and so much wiped nasal matter, we firmly believe it wasn't a normal child, but some form of biological weapon testing in toddler form. How could a single child be that sticky and not actually have adhered to the cabinet?!
• A small child purposefully, slowly and methodically poking their entrance ticket through a gap until it was stuck inside a locked display cabinet. It was part of the display for the rest of the weekend.
• If you are sat drinking coffee and your children are four rooms away from you, they are not being accompanied by an adult. If you now want to leave, upset that we don’t trust your 12 year old to be mature enough to accompany their 9 year old brother, that’s fine by us, but a shame for them.
• Lots of adorable and badly written messages in the visitor comments book about it being “amaysing” and “the best moseum ever”

More museum holiday fun? Find out what I've overheard in the holidays here.