Attendant's View Blog and Cartoons

Unsolicited Best Intentions

16/6/2018

The awkward moment when your museum finds that a local facebook page has been cheerfully copy/pasting your facebook events to create Their Own event pages, because they think it'll help your events reach more people.

What is mainly seems to do is reach people, confuse them, and make them frustrated over unanswered questions in the event discussion section.

Why didn't we answer your question on the event page? We weren't notified about a question on the event page. There isn't a question on the event page. Oh, that's a link to an event page which isn't ours. But looks exactly like our event page...

Road to hell, best intentions, paving, and all that.

Stolen Pushchair

8/1/2018

To provide a bit of context, the area at the bottom of a set of stairs was often used to leave pushchairs, rather than walking to the lift and using the lift, or taking the pushchairs upstairs.

This not only blocked a fire escape (to the degree that some people would "tuck out of the way", actually inside the alcove of the fire escape door) but also presented a safety risk (leaving unattended, unidentified bags in a busy public venue) a "we're not responsible for your stuff being nicked" risk, and sometimes prevented people accessing art and exhibition panels when they were mounted on the walls in this space.

Signs were either willfully or obliviously ignored, often with minor panic when people were then informed that their pushchair was now relocated, to a safe place, outside the building.

For posterity

3/10/2017

I must not do this if we remodel the museum in the future.
I must not do this if we remodel the museum in the future.
I must not do this if we remodel the museum in the future.

Your call

19/7/2017

I was going to send an email to a visitor query which was a flat out "We don't have an official position on this, but No".

Instead I have sent an email which is "Here are all the reasons why it could negatively impact on your visit, and on other visitors, the ball is however, in your court."

I'm not sure if that was actually the crueler email to send.

Because they now could do the thing they want to do, but will have to admit that they are knowingly potentially having a negative impact of the fun of others.

In other words "How much of a twunt do you want to be?"

Glamour

30/3/2017

When you point out in a sudden panic to a colleague "DON'T PUT YOUR HAND THERE!" and then have to chisel lumps of dried on nasal matter from an exhibition wall.

Taking little Hugo to the museums

6/2/2017

I REALLY hope this is a legitimate TFL sign.

Fist spotted and posted by https://www.facebook.com/mymuseumlife/

The real cost of visiting a historic house - Hint, It's not less than £1 per person.

23/11/2016

Winter nights have drawn in, and many museums and houses are using the dark hours to run dark events - ghost hunts, bat watches, lantern making... So when a photography club emailed an "Elizabethan House" about some night time photography, staff replied to them, willing to help plan an after hours visit.

I know about this because the photography club's response to this plan was apparently so unpleasant, that the house's staff compiled a joke letter, and then wanted to share it with you all.

The start of the "letter"

It is easy for us, within our institutions, with our detailed knowledge of how they function, to scoff at public misunderstanding about their inner workings. We have a duty to educate and inform the public not only about historic sites, but also the surprising ongoing costs just to maintain the status quo, let alone develop them.

Aaaaaalllthough... Staff frustration is very understandable when someone expects to bring 8 to 15 people on a special out of hours visit, paying less for the whole group than is usually paid for one person!
And they then threaten to break into your venue.

Read on to see the full image sent to me of the venue's mock letter.
And do watch out for that box hedge!

Musuem experiences in the School Holidays

5/9/2016

I’m not saying that these wouldn’t happen at other times of the year, just that they certainly happened during the school summer break at our museum.

Picking up what I thought was a piece of paper from the floor, but it was wet, chewed, ham.
A visitor placing their bag “out of harm’s way” on top of a display cabinet, intending to leave it there all day. Cue our explaining about bomb scares, and the very real fact that their bag could have caused a fire, sat as it was in direct contact with the lighting for the cabinet and hot to touch when we found it.
A visitor pointing out that the lights were off in a cabinet. Discovering it had been deliberately unplugged at the wall. We suspect someone wanted to cheekily charge their mobile phone.
Cleaning a glass cabinet covered at knee height in so many very opaque hand and face prints, and so much wiped nasal matter, we firmly believe it wasn't a normal child, but some form of biological weapon testing in toddler form. How could a single child be that sticky and not actually have adhered to the cabinet?!
A small child purposefully, slowly and methodically poking their entrance ticket through a gap until it was stuck inside a locked display cabinet. It was part of the display for the rest of the weekend.
If you are sat drinking coffee and your children are four rooms away from you, they are not being accompanied by an adult. If you now want to leave, upset that we don’t trust your 12 year old to be mature enough to accompany their 9 year old brother, that’s fine by us, but a shame for them.
Lots of adorable and badly written messages in the visitor comments book about it being “amaysing” and “the best moseum ever”

More museum holiday fun? Find out what I've overheard in the holidays here.

"Why is this paper wet?"

22/8/2016

I thought it was a piece of paper on the floor of the museum.
I honestly thought I was just picking up a receipt or a crunched up ticket.
That was why I blithely picked it up.
And then froze as I pondered "Why is this paper wet?"

AND IT WAS HAM.

Historic office space

6/7/2016

A previous venue I worked at had some offices in the older refurbished areas of the building, as well as the newly built extension. They were cramped, but very beautiful as a work space. One staff member had regular "visitors", as her office was the first door at the very top of the main stair case.

To get to the top of the stairs, people had to actively climb over or unclip two rope barriers, and squeeze around or move a Private sign on a freestanding post.

On one occasion, she had to ask a visitor if they would delete the photo they had just taken of her sitting at her desk.