Thanks to Arty Bollocks.com your next artist statement for an exhibition will be easy!
With one click you can generate a wall of impenetrable yet somehow important sounding nonsense, which will have everyone acting as if they know what it means, and saying that it adds so much depth knowing about the origins of the work.
Keep clicking for new versions, and also try the short tweet version.
Don't believe that the sort of text generated is plausible? Check out what I found in a recent exhibition, just after discovering arty bollocks for the first time. It does make sense, eventually, but woe to anyone foolish enough to stray into the gallery thinking they can get a quick general overview from the panels, and not have to read all of the text in the gallery guides....
Past the barriers.
Past the signs.
Past the tools, hoover, wood and glass.
Through the dismantled door.
Past the barriers.
It was a valiant quest, yet ended in the bitter and perhaps gradually obvious disappointment of "No, we're not open right now. Can I get someone to safely escort you back to the cafe and shop?"
Artist: "I loaned X for display, I'll be in the area on Y day so will pick it up then."
Staff: "Um...Y is over a month before the exhibition finishes, and when the loan was arranged you agreed to it being here until the end of the exhibition."
Artist:"Oh. Is it really that important for X to be on display?"
Hang on, I can work with this...
Staff: "...oh yes, people have loved it, the public are really surprised to see it and it's had a lot of positive comments."
Artist:"Perhaps it would be best to keep it on show until the end then..."
Webcomic and occasional blog about the heritage sector.
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