Me: We did try to visit the local museum, but it was closed.
Tourist information lady: That is strange. It's after Easter and before October, and it's a Tuesday, and it's not gone half one yet. It should be open, David is very keen.
Her friend: Unless The Other David was due on today?
TIL: I'll phone David for you and ask him to pop down and open the museum.
Me: Stammers about that not being necessary, really, even as she's making the call.
*quiet fear that this is about to go full League of Extraordinary Gentlemen*
TIL: He's not picking up.
Me: THANKS BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, WE'LL CHECK OUT THE OLD CINEMA INSTEAD!
*visitors politely flee*